~ delivered on 6/29/2011, Mt. View Funeral Home's Garden Chapel ~
I’d like to thank you all for coming today, and for all the love, support and prayers that you have showered our family with, in this, our hour of need. I’m not a member of the clergy, just a grandpa who misses a little boy, and wants to share a few memories and messages with you all. If I stumble, or have to stop and re-start, I hope you will forgive me.
We are gathered here today, not only to mourn the passing of little Eddy Maurice Smith III, but also to celebrate his amazing spirit. I think I can honestly speak for everyone in Little Eddy’s family, when I say that we were blessed to have been graced by the presence of such a beautiful angel in our lives, even if it was for far too short a time.
I’ve heard it said that when God sends an angel to Earth to be among us, he doesn’t let them stay for long. I think this is especially true when He has a specific and special purpose for that angel.
Now, I would never presume to know the mind of God, or exactly what his plan and purpose for Little Eddy is, but I don’t think it was a coincidence that on the day of his passing, another infant just happened to need a heart-valve transplant, or that our Little Eddy’s heart was a perfect match. I’m honored and very proud that when the need was presented to Heather and Eddy, they offered this life-saving donation without a moment’s hesitation … and somehow I sense the hand of God at work. Knowing that another infant will have a chance at life helps to make this terrible tragedy in our lives a little easier to accept.
Eddy was such a happy baby … I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: If we measure the success of our lives by the percentage of them that we spend happy, smiling and bringing joy to others, then we all have a long way to go to measure up to this beautiful little boy - this amazing gift from God.
When I first heard that Heather and Eddy were naming him Eddy the Third, I thought “Cool – Time for a Grandpa nickname.” I use nicknames for all of my grandkids, a habit that started with my children when they were born … just ask my daughter; Heather spent her early years being called ‘Boober’ by her silly dad – a name I sometimes still use, huh sis?
I heard that name ‘Eddy Maurice Smith III’, and I knew that 'Little Eddy' was going to be used a lot, but that just wasn’t special enough.
See, he was a third … and 3 is a very powerful number. The Bible tells us that God gave us 3 everlasting gifts, faith, hope and love; the Magi brought Jesus 3 gifts, and God himself is a 3 - the Trinity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.
Well, I looked at his name and realized that it contained a Triple-I … and it just clicked. I started calling him ‘Trip’, and what a trip he was. His impact on our lives still trips me out, so if I refer to him as my little Trip, that’s why.
Not only was this little guy an angel, but I honestly believe he knew it, because he was so happy to be able to come and share our lives for the time God granted him. We should have known just how happy a little boy he would be, when he got his very first picture taken, by ultrasound. Here he was, still waiting to be born, and smiling like he knew the world was going to love him. I saw that ultrasound picture and my heart melted.
One of my hobbies is creating keepsake images from pictures, and I just had to immortalize that face, with a portrait I call his ‘ultra-grin’. Last year I finally gave in to pressure from my kids, and joined the world of social networking and facebook, and I immediately had to share this portrait and introduce the world to my newest, as yet unborn, grandson – my grinning little Trip.
 |
| The Ultra Grin |
This would prove to be the first of many, many pictures of his smiling face that I shared with my online friends and family.
Little Eddy’s journey to join us wasn’t an easy one. When he was born, there were some complications, and he had to spend some time in the hospital. At the time, Sandi and I were far away, but we started a prayer circle that, with the help of the internet, literally encircled the globe. He had fans, and had already touched lives, from Sweden to Australia, from England to New York City, and these facebook friends joined with our family and blessed us with a worldwide chain of love, support and prayers.
Having a newborn that had to stay in the hospital wasn’t easy on Heather and Eddy, but fortunately for all of us, we have an amazing woman in our lives. Aunt Sharmell has been part of our family for over 30 years now, and has always been there for any of us. She picked up Breonna and Lexi, and was the support system for Heather and Eddy that Sandi and I couldn’t be from where we live in Oregon. She and Jeff mean more to us than they will ever know, and we owe them more than we could ever hope to repay.
When Eddy was only three days old, his Great-Grandpa Grein went into the hospital, and we were informed that his condition was most likely terminal. Those of us from Oregon made the trip that day up here to Tacoma, in what would turn out to be a bitter-sweet journey. Bitter, because we had to say goodbye to a wonderful man, but sweet, because we got to say hello to the newest member of the clan.
Little Eddy was still in the hospital, and it was there that Grandma Grein and I, and a lot of his other relatives from Oregon, got to meet, kiss and hug him. I held him in my arms that day, and he reached out with his beautiful, tiny little hand and grabbed my finger. I gazed into his gorgeous little face and he peered up at my unshaven one, and he gave me one of his glorious smiles … and that was it. I fell completely, absolutely and permanently head-over-hells in love, much the same way that I did 26 years earlier, with his momma.
Grandma and I got to hold him in our arms that one time, and now we get to hold him in our hearts forever.
It was while Little Trip was in the hospital, that he met some other angels. Battling with jaundice and anemia, he needed a blood transfusion. You have all heard the phrase ‘blood, sweat and tears’ … well, I know of no other group of professionals that embody that level of caring and commitment more than the nurses who work in neonatal intensive care, and the wonderful nurses at St. Joseph’s hospital stepped in and provided Little Eddy, not only with TLC, but with their very own blood – a privilege they actually compete for. During this process, even though he was a sick little boy, Eddy was still a happy little guy, grinning from behind all the tubes, lights and wires.
While Sandi and I weren’t here for his big homecoming day, Heather, and Aunt Shar, made sure that we didn’t miss a thing … I would receive between 2 and 8 pictures in my email almost every day … and I loved it. See, I work graveyard, and it became a sort of ritual … I would come home in the morning, wake up Grandma with a cup of that famous Circle-K coffee, fire up my email, and we would both oooh and awwww at the newest pictures … then I would save them to my computer, log on to facebook, and more often than not, fire off yet another post of our happy little grandson.
I sometimes wondered if all my facebook friends and family were getting tired of my constant ‘Smiling Trip’ posts, but I never received anything but positive happy responses, and comments about how he made someone else smile, laugh and feel better. It turns out these photographs were more of a blessing than we could have known, because now we have a wonderful way to remember Eddy, and a chance to celebrate and share these memories with the world.
The loss of a loved one is never easy, and when it is so unexpected, and happens to one so young, it is especially hard. God’s ultimate plan is perhaps unknowable, but if we put our faith in Him, and we turn to his word for guidance, we find some comfort. In the book of Lamentations, we find the following words:
I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
…
For no one is abandoned
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
Each of us deals with our grief and pain in different ways. Tributes and dedications often help, and when someone has the heart of a poet, and they let their emotions drive, sometimes amazing works are created. I would like to share one such creation with all of you. Heather wrote her son a poem … you will find a copy of it printed in the memorial announcements … here it is set to a very special song …
On the day that God called Trip home, his family responded quickly, despite the shock, pain and disbelief. Woody went straight to the hospital and picked up the girls. Sharmell and Jeff stepped up once again, as did one of Heather’s oldest and best friends, Monica. Like three steady rocks in a turbulent river, these members of our family helped Heather and Eddy cope with this tragedy in a way that I don’t think anyone else on earth could have. Bless you all – the support and love you provided on that day can never be repaid.
Rocky drove me up when we heard the news, and we brought Breonna and Lexi back down to Oregon with us, to spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa, so Heather and Eddy would have a little less to worry about while, with the love and assistance of their special river-rocks, they dealt with the painful details that accompany a life-changing tragedy of this magnitude.
The hospital had sent a little book home with the girls, called ‘When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death.” This book is written in large print, with bright colorful images, and it offers the families of young children a path to follow as they undertake one of the hardest discussions they will ever have to have – and I was blessed and touched to be able to have a frank and honest discussion with them that night.
I gathered the five girls … my youngest daughter Jazzmyn, Breonna, Lexi, and Lucie and Frankie, my nieces. These girls range in age from 10 to 4, and we all six sat down in the front room, and discussed Little Eddy’s death.
Using the book as a roadmap, we talked about what death is … we addressed the fear and worry that accompany the realization of human mortality … and we talked about pain. We laughed and we cried and we all asked questions and answered them as well.
I explained that if we cut our finger, we can put a band-aid on it … and if we have a headache, we can take a Tylenol, but then I asked them, “What we do about the hurt we feel way down deep in our hearts?”
“We can cry” offered Jazzmyn, and I agreed. Crying is a great way of making that pain hurt less … but how do we make it heal? … That’s when Lexi, at 5 years of age, spoke up … she looked at me with total understanding and faith and said “Love, Dampa”. I couldn’t speak … because she got it …
Then we talked about Heaven, and God. I asked the girls, “How do we know God is there? We can’t see him and we can’t touch him, so how do we know he’s real?” Once again Lexi had the answer... she looked at me like I was stupid and with a slight shrug said “Love.” Duh ….
It was then that I realized just how much of Heather lives inside her girls, and how well grounded they are in the faith department. Heather posted a comment on Facebook the other day that said:
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
Love leaves a memory no one can steal.
I just have a couple more messages that I think really need to be shared:
Eddy … I want you to know that I honestly think you are the best thing that ever happened to my little girl, and I love you, and I’m proud to consider you my son.
Heather, my Boober girl, you have shown more strength and faith and wisdom than anyone could have asked – I love you and am so proud of you.
I hope and pray that the two of you can put your faith in God, and in each other … Let Jesus take the wheel, and let his grace and your faith help you to help each other get through this difficult time.
Like I said, I’m not a preacher, but I do believe that Jesus spoke the truth, and he said that whenever two or more of us gather in His name, he is with us. Will you all please join me in prayer?
Dearest Heavenly Father, creator of all that we know,
Please bless us all with your love and give us comfort in this hour of sorrow. Help us to remember as we go forward from this place, that your plan, and not ours, is the true path to happiness and healing, and help to ease the sharp edges of our grief. Thank you for the blessings you give us and for the time you gave us with Little Eddy. May we each strive to make his happiness and love a permanent part of our own spirits. We ask these things in the name of your most precious gift of all …
Your son, Jesus Christ.Amen
In closing, I would like to say some special words of thanks and appreciation:
First of all, to the owners and staff of Mountain View … Thank you so much. Your policy of helping with the service expenses for families who lose children made this memorial possible, and is a true blessing.
Next, the TEARS foundation. Without their financial support, this experience would have been even more devastating than it has been … I encourage all of you to donate to them. The donation jar in the lobby will go to them, in order to help them provide assistance to other families as well …
Thanks as well go to the staff at the TNT – Their help with the obituary process is very much appreciated.
To my kids and grandkids … you guys are so awesome. The amount of support you all share, and the depth of your love for each other lets me know that despite all the mistakes Sandi and I may have made as parents, we must have done some things just right, because you are all wonderful, loving, beautiful people, and I could not be any prouder of you all than I am today.
To all the rest of our family and friends, both near and far – thank you for your support and prayers. Having all of you in our lives has made us richer and sharing this painful day with us will help to heal our hearts … like Lexi said … Love - (duh) …
To Sharmell – You are hero, sister, and friend. We love you, and want the world to know how blessed we are to have you in our lives.
Heather and Eddy … Thank you kids, for allowing me the honor of putting this memorial service together. I am humbled and grateful. This has been the single hardest thing I have ever done, and was truly a labor of love. I only hope that I didn’t mess up too badly.
And finally, to Little Eddy Maurice Smith the Third … Thank you for touching this old grandpa’s heart. I’m a better man than I was before you came along … I’ll always miss you, and I’ll be holding you in my heart, until we meet on the other side … I love you Trip …
Before we all leave and head back to Sharmell’s house, I have one final gift for you all … My own tribute to a precious child who will be missed by us all …
Bless you all …
No comments:
Post a Comment