September 12, 2012

On Angel Kisses

Blessings From Beyond


August 8, 2012 -
As I parked my bike this morning, a little yellow
butterfly, just like this one, alit on my
handlebars, slowly fanned its wings three times,
then fluttered away ... Thank you Trip! ...
Grandpa loves you forever!

The term Angel Kisses, is one that came to me from my infant grandson. 

Four weeks after his passing he visited both his Mommy and me as we slept, and he gave us both a little inspiration. When I woke up, I sat down and recorded the most awesome dream I could ever remember having. Here is what I wrote that day:
The dream …

Our whole family had gathered for a reception after I delivered Eddy’s memorial eulogy. For some reason, we were holding it at a house that my father built with his own two hands, even though he hadn’t owned it for many years before he passed away. I remember the greatest feeling of warmth and pride coming from the house itself, and for some reason everyone thought this was a generations-old family home.

As I was working my way toward the kitchen (and the food, lol) I noticed that Bill, the funeral director from Mountain View, where the service had been held, was also there. This man is very tall, and somehow seemed almost elegant as he cut his way through the crowd toward me. I was surprised and pleased that he would be there to join us to celebrate Eddy’s wonderful shooting-star life.  He smiled and said he couldn’t stay, but I dropped this at the funeral home – and he handed me a letter.

I looked down at the papers now in my hand, and saw the most beautiful handwriting, and while I don’t remember everything it said, I remember just enough …  Here are the pieces I do remember, and I can see these lines so clearly, that I KNOW  they were a message for us all:

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

   Don’t cry all the time, okay? I’m still happy, and I do miss you so, so much, but it’s really nice here …
   Grandpa Bill and Granny were here to meet me when I woke up, and I get to take turns sitting in their laps when I miss you and need a hug. Granny said to tell you they wouldn’t let her bring her wooden spoon here, and she winked, but I don’t get it …
   I found out that I have more grandmas and grandpas than I could believe, but they all love me …
   Tell my sisters and my big brother that I love them, and I get to spend a little time watching over them every day

   Jesus is here, and I get to sing and play with all the other angels every day –and when we fall down here, our knees don’t get scabs, so it’s okay for me to be Trip, hahaha.

   When I got here, I asked why everyone back there was so sad, when I got to spend time with them, and then come here … It’s so wonderful and fun here that they should be happy – but Jesus told me they were sad for themselves, since they don’t get to be here with me yet.
   I told him that I didn’t want my Mommy and Daddy to be so sad, and he said that their sadness would be a little less each day, and that I could send a special angel-kiss to them when they were asleep to make it easier. I hope you feel my angel-kisses, I send them each night as you sleep …

   I’ll be right here, watching over you each day, waiting with Jesus and Grandpa and Granny until you get here  –

Your bug,
P.S.    My real name is ...

I had started crying and the last word was smeared and blotted out with a tear-drop (I think I wasn’t supposed to know that last word) … In fact, the letter was actually a couple pages long, but I only wrote down the parts I could remember reading … I think he accidentally told me some secrets that I wasn’t supposed to know yet, so God only let me remember parts of his letter – but it felt so real, and was so comforting …
To this day, this dream, unlike most, remains vivid and clear in my memory ...


That same morning, after a cup of coffee and some cereal, I fired up Facebook, and Heather, my daughter and Eddy's mommy, had found and posted the following on her wall:

Mommy, please don't cry...  A beautiful Angel carried me here!
I met Jesus today mommy! He cradled me in his arms. He made me feel so happy inside.
Mommy, please don't cry... Heaven is wonderful!
Did you know the streets are made of gold? Real gold!
I have lots of friends, mommy. We run and we play, we giggle and laugh.
I can't wait to show you my secret hideouts!
Mommy, please don't cry... When I fall it doesn't hurt!
There are no tears in heaven.
I've met a man named Noah. He told me about his big boat.
All the animals, and the very first rainbow. Have you heard of Noah, mommy?
Mommy, please don't cry... We have lots of parties here;
With streamers and hats, and the best chocolate cake ever!
When it's time to rest angels tuck us in, I never get scared mommy.
There is no darkness here! Jesus is the light of heaven.
Mommy, please don't cry... The angels are always singing. I love to sing with the angels! You'd be proud of me. I have a pretty good voice. I must have gotten it from you.
There is a river, mommy, in the most beautiful garden you could ever imagine...
And a huge tree with yummy fruit. The angels call it the tree of life.
Mommy, it's so wonderful to be alive in heaven!
Mommy, please don't cry... sometimes I just like to be by myself.
That's when I think of you.
Someday mommy, we will hold each other tight! Then you will cradle me in your arms. And stroke my hair... And once again, our hearts will beat together.
Mommy, please don't cry...
I'll wait right here for you.

So much of this awesome poetic letter was so close to the letter I had received in my dream, that is gave me goosebumps, and I immediately created a Note on Facebook, where I could immortalize the gift I had been given, and I started keeping my senses aware for these kisses from heaven.

Angel Kisses Happen All The Time

I've since read a LOT of testimonials and personal stories about not only dream kisses, but other special signs and touching moments that are surely kisses from our loved ones who have passed. I now record as many of them as I can, like I did the visit from the butterfly at the top of the page.

Now, I know that butterflies abound in summer, and not everything is a 'sign' or an 'angel kiss' - but I had been thinking pretty hard about my little guy all night at work, and this is the very first time I've ever had a butterfly actually land on my bike, seem to say hello, then fly away... See, angel-kisses do happen all the time, if we just open our hearts...

The First One I Remember

As a young child, my lifelong companion was a little brown mixed breed dog named Smokey. She was the same age I was, and she adopted me before I could even walk. Smokey was my first best friend, and she slept with me every night. The day after my 8th birthday, she got hold of a raw salmon head, and ended up with salmon poisoning. We had to have her put to sleep ...  and it broke my heart.

When I was 13 years old,  my great-grandmother passed away. Her death and funeral was the first time I remember losing a human family member, and the night she died I had a dream ....

In this dream, I was following my family in a slow walking line of mourners, and we were heading for the cemetery.  Along the side of the road were a line of outhouses, and as we passed them, one of the doors opened and there stood Grandma Steiger! ... She smiled at me, then put her finger to her lips, as if to let me know that it was a secret she was there. I was confused... I mean we were going to HER funeral! .. Then she grinned the sweetest grin at me, and as she started to walk away, she pointed to the grass next to her feet. There, walking alongside her, was Smokey - and I felt so comforted and warm, knowing that she was now gonna take care of my dog for me ....

I think that Grandma knew I needed some reassurance about life and our place in God's plan after we pass on, so she sent me that angel-kiss in the best way that my 13 year-old mind could receive it - by associating her passing with the strongest symbol of loyalty, love and acceptance I had ever known ... Smokey, my sweet, silly old dog.

Look For Them

If you are missing a loved one who is no longer with you, let them know that you love them, and then keep yourself open ... we may not always get the signs we are hoping for ... but if they are allowed. they will send you a kiss. It could be a snowflake, a raindrop, a gentle breeze - or even a dream that you may or may not be able to remember when you wake up.

If you let yourself recognize when it happens, that warm glow of love inside will let you know that you too, have been kissed by your angel ... and you have that promise,

From Grandpa's Heart ...